Dressing Down is Good For The Soul.

When I see all those models and actresses strutting their stuff,fitting in too tight clothes and flaunting their poker straight hair,I always feel deep Compassion.I have an irresistible urge to wipe off the makeup from all those dolled up faces.

Dressing up when you feel like it is Good.But having a compulsion to look perfect all the time is a disease.And many women around me seem to be having it.Their marriages maybe breaking up,their kids maybe smoking pot but you will never see them running out of rouge or lipstick.

I find that this desire to hide ones warts and sores becomes counterproductive after a while. Because our deepest urge is to be loved and accepted for what we are.If we do not like what we see in the mirror or if we think others will not like it we try to cover it up.We may feel Happy also for some time. But not in a Dalai Lama,Zen Monk kind of way.It is more a "me against the Evil Forces " kind of way.And it tires you out.

Having the courage to go make-up free and sans power dresses when your heart is not in it is an essential art for healing every girl's troubled soul.

Hell will not break loose if you have the courage to let your ragged/carefree souls show.Men do it all the time.Try it.

Housework Hurdle.

Modern Marriages I often think flounder at the altar of Housework.

Housework is the deity that is never appeased and forever hungry.

And as the years pass by,with kids and their paraphernalia,the deity gets fatter fatter like an ajgar. And demands more and more upaasaks (servants).Like the temple priests these servants too realize their key position and act more like brokers and middlemen.And if as an outraged woman a la Rebecca,you  try to get rid of the middlemen,you find the ajgar dangling from your own sainted neck.

Not surprisingly, most women who happily see their husbands off for six month long foreign trips suffer extreme apoplexy if the servant goes off even for a day :))

That is why I do not understand all those Good Housekeeping Model Women.The kind who monitor their servants with the right mix of discipline and compassion so that they never act smart and are perfectly trained.If you must take all that trouble to teach them how to fold napkins and lay the table why keep them in the first place? For God's sake I am happy enough if I have someone prepare food hot off the stove. I can feed myself and kids out of the karahi even .So much so for napkins with rings and Pasta al Fettucini in Shrimp Sauce .

I have a theory -( infact many theories-as you will find out!).

I am sure these women sublimate all their desires into the Dream of the Purrfect House.That is the only way they can cope with the Drab Reality of Non-Existent Passion.Why waste time in wondering if your husband is having a fling with the new secretary and other skeletons -when you can fuss and fret over airing the linen cupboard and other harmless odours :))

Revelation on Child Sex Abuse.

The other day I was just bouncing ideas with a bunch of girlfriends on how to tackle the Birds and Bees Talk with our kids.When Abha told me this.

Abha has adopted a baby girl from an orphanage.The child was found abandoned at the age of three and came to her when she was five years old.God knows what she was exposed to during all those years.

Abha and her daughter were looking at the Jain statues at Sravanabelagola,when her daughter all of seven,looking at the lingam said "isko yahan (pointing below her tummy) lagate hain na?"

The shocked mum with a composed face said yes,isko yahan lagate hain.

Heartbreaking na ? What does it take for a man to become so debased that he must prey upon a Child's Innocence ? So innocent that she does not even know what she has gone through ?
And all of us Birth Mothers who pride ourselves on nurturing and protecting our daughters (and sons too ) we are humbled by brave women like Abha. If Parenting is about nurturing the scarred soul of a Chlid -then nobody can do it better than her .

Confessions Of A Bihari Bahu.

 Chhat pooja-celebrating the bihari Patidev .

 Some  nuggets on the Bihari Man.

1. Bihari Man acts as the Centre Of The Universe because for Bihari Mothers The Son is The Sun Of Her Life.
2. If possible Bihari Man will not even clean their own Snot because a willing and suitably mother,sister,wife is always waiting hand and foot.
3. In return,the Bihari man will "Protect" his Woman.Which means he will set Strict Boundaries for her to Observe viz the Four Walls. At the most a Rickshaw Ride to Khaitan Market to buy Bangles and Chat Pooja Ka Saaman.
4. Bihari Man has no problem with the Modern Woman as long as she also does the Domestic Duties.
5. Bihari Man may sip champagne on Ice and nibble caviar but at heart he always craves for sattu ka ghol and aloo ka chokha.
6. Bihari Man has Strange ways Of Expressing his Love.Like bringing you a Glass of Water when you come home -Learn to Acknowledge this because Bihari Men NEVER fetch and carry for mere wives otherwise.
7. Bihari Man is so used to passivity that he is totally unnerved by Strong Women.Which is good because your Action throws him into Paralysis.
8. Bihari Man needs constant education,Training and Development.

Bihari Men out there please do not get offended -only amended.
I deal with a Bihari Man on a daily basis. The privilege is entirely mine :))